The bus to Novalja fills quickly, and it's overwhelmingly obvious we're all headed there for the same reason. Hard Island music festival. There is just an air, a vibe, about these people that screams "hard style fan". Crap...I guess I should say around "us", though I don't feel I really fit the mould.
The bus pulls out of the station, and the vacation has started for all those traveling to Croatia just for the festival. Within minutes someone pulls out a speaker and the unrelenting BPM of hard style pumps through the bus, leaving the few unfortunate locals looking around in confusion, and the rest of the bus fist pumping and head banging.
I laugh to myself and pray I will survive the coming week.
If I don't make it out of the madness...tell my family I love them.
Let's do this.
Novalja, Croatia...accommodation town for those wishing to party at the legendary Zrce beach. People like me. Except not really, huh?
The town is beautiful. Clean, bright, right on the water. And while most locals are very friendly, I can't blame the few with aggression in their voices and their eyes. The tourists flood in by the bus load day and night. Not your regular, sightseeing variety, but the kind with one thing on their mind.
Partying.
Novalja knows this and caters to it with a very accepting attitude, claiming it's title as the Ibiza of Croatia, but still, some of the party goers are rude and push the limits.
There are signs all over the town asking people to keep their clothes on and not walk around outside of the beach in a bathing suit. Not a very big ask. Put your damn clothes on. But still, I see men and women all day long walking the streets in little to nothing. At 6am when everyone floods back from Zrce, there is an officer stationed outside the bus stop asking people one by one to put their shirts back on. What an obnoxious task.
I understand wanting to party. Shit, I'm here for a festival myself. But I'm disappointed in my fellow travelers. Show just the tiniest amount of respect for the rules and customs of the people who actually inhabit this beautiful land. Don't give tourists a bad name.
Come on, guys...put your big girl panties on and be adults.
PS, I'm having a fantastic time! Just hate seeing people disrespected.
I love the festival atmosphere. I'm not that into the music, but that's not honestly what I came for. I came for the family. The lifestyle. The people.
I arrive alone to Zrce on the first day and feel slightly out of place. I feel like they can tell I'm not actually one of them. I'm a fake. I'm not a hard style fan.
I stay at the edge of the crowd for a bit, and observe, unable to stop from giggling as everyone jumps around to the obnoxiously fast beat. But eventually it's too hot to be a bystander, and I find a corner for my stuff, strip down, and join the fools jumping in the pool.
Its amazing.
I don't have to love the music. The pure energy pumps through me and I'm jumping around and losing my mind just like the rest of them.
As soon as I step in the pool, obviously dry, someone starts splashing me and laughing, and another person dances beside me for a moment before offering me her drink.
These types of interactions happen repeatedly. I rarely speak to any of these people, but they extend obvious hands of friendship.
The MC starts throwing hats into the crowd, and I jump for them energetically, but have no luck catching one. I feel something placed on my head, and when I take it off, it's one of the hats. I turn to see who put it there, and the people behind me just smile.
Thanks, guys. You rock.
I walk out from the bathroom, breathing hard from all the jumping (I swear hard style dancing is all the cardio anyone needs), and a stranger besides the door checks in on me, asking if I'm alright.
It's easy to feel safe here. Cared for even though I'm alone. When I meet anyone's eyes they smile and we share a silent communication. An appreciation of what we're here for.
This is a family. Even if we never speak.
The DJ plays a sample over his track... A man speaking...simple words...
"Music never torn anyone apart."
And these words pour through me and I'm shouting and jumping and clapping so hard I slice my hand open on the plastic bit of my wristband.
Music never torn anyone apart.
The phrase "high on life" has never been more appropriate to me.
I can't breathe I'm dancing so hard and I decide after going all day, night, day again, and into the night...I'm probably allowed to take a break. I walk 20 feet away from the dance floor and sit on the rocky beach, watching the people stream by, pumped and full of energy. I love the unique vibe this place has. There are four major clubs and a scattering of small bars in between, all open air and right on the coast. You don't like the music? Walk 50 feet to the next club. Need a break? Step directly out onto the beach and continue to people watch.
I'm on the beach alone for no more than five minutes.
A kid walking by looks at me and smiles and then pauses. "Hey, are you okay out here alone?"
"Oh! Yeah man, I'm just tired."
"Okay, just checking!" He hesitates a moment. "Mind if I sit down?"
We sit and watch the people, share a beer, exchange stories.
"Hey, why aren't you out here with a cute girl?"
I pause, confused by this sudden change in topic.
"Sorry, what?"
"I mean, it's pretty obvious you like that...so why don't you have a cute girl out here on the beach with you?"
I'm trying to hold myself together instead of laughing at his blunt question and assumption.
"Why don't you?" I respond.
"Well, I have a girlfriend."
"Fair. I'm not into hookups. That's all anything here would be. I'm good on my own."
Ah...to be a girl with short hair in 2018...must be a lesbian!
I'm good with this though. It means less groping hands on the dance floor. Less reasons to fight.
I appreciate the bluntness of Europeans.
Have a question? Ask it.
Maybe it's my hair...or my clothes...or maybe it's that I can out dance 90% of the people here. Whatever it is, these kids look at me and think, "drug dealer".
I've been asked repeatedly since arriving in Zrce if I know where to find ecstasy, and each conversation goes about the same.
"No, sorry, I don't know."
"Oh okay...well what are you on then?"
"Oh...I'm not on anything man, I just like to dance."
"Really?! You're sober?"
"Really really."
I thought about being frustrated by the frequency of this assumption, but honestly, I see it as a compliment in a way. I am enjoying myself to such an extent that people think I Must be high. That's a good thing, right? Life to the fullest, and all that. I'm good with my sobriety...I'm already high enough ;)
In all seriousness though, I am really glad to be here at this point in my life...this is my first festival since getting sober, and it's such a relief to not even have the thought on my mind. I see these people, messed up out of their minds, and I do not envy the hangovers they will have the next day, or their friends who have to drag them out of the club because they can barely stand. I guess this is part of growing up in most cultures...this over indulgence...we expect it from young people. But ugh...why do we make ourselves feel like crap all the time? Why is this fun?
This festival has been amazing...I have danced from the early afternoon into the dawn for days on end...I have jumped out of a club into the sea at sunrise in my sweaty clothes...I have come home at 6am to be greeted with smiles and clear headed conversations with the receptionist at my hostel...I have sat on the beach and talked to strangers...I have turned those strangers into friends...and the very best part?
I remember it all.
All of it.
Amazing memories. No drugs or hangovers to mar my memories. When my body hurts in the morning, I know it's because I danced too hard and not because I poisoned it.
I used to fear the sunrise after a night of partying...because more often than not, it meant I messed up, and I'd be feeling regret in the days to come. I drank too much or I took something I shouldn't have. Seeing a sunrise was rarely a natural occurrence, and the crash was on it's way.
But no more!
With the sun rising over the mountains at the edge of the sea, we scream and hurl ourselves off the deck of the club. The icy salt water wakes us up and cleanses our sweaty bodies. Dripping wet, we make our way to the bus, and eventually pour back into Novalja. I return to my hostel, make a meal, shower, and sleep. And in the morning? Perfectly fine.
I know it won't always be like this. But there is no way in hell it would have happened like that this time around had I not been sober.
I meet a pair of Canadian boys in my hostel and we spend two days partying and hanging out. They see my wristband for Hard Island and tell me they aren't really into the music, but their friend is DJ'ing the next day, so they came to see him. They invite me along.
It's funny how, when you're not really into something, you can happen into the best circumstances.
Their friend comes to collect us, and hands them each a free wristband, asking if I need one as well.
"No, no, I've got one."
He takes us all into the club and straight to the VIP area above the stage, where we're promptly brought free drinks and have plenty of room to dance.
This is how the next two days go and I just laugh as we're given the best treatment we could ask for, at a festival full of music none of us are really that into.
Life is funny.
The boys are leaving in the morning, and after two days and nights of partying together, we end up separated at the very last moment.
"Ah well..." I think. "That sucks, but this is how it happens traveling. You don't always get a goodbye."
But in the morning I wake when I hear my name. They've knocked on my door and asked my dorm mates for me.
I should have known better than to think the Canadians would leave without a goodbye. Much too polite for that ;)
And I am glad for it. This last extension of friendship.
I may be traveling alone, but I never seem to feel too lonely.
Many thanks to all the lovely groups and individuals who have taken me on as their stray!
"No fear in love". Repeat it often. Every time you feel doubt. Every time someone doubts you. When you're scared. When they are.
No fear in love.
No fear in love.
Let it ring out as your mantra. Let it guide. Let it be true. This doesn't mean you'll never get hurt. This isn't a shield against pain. This is you getting out of your own way and allowing room for potential. The greatest magic. For good things to happen. For you to not let fear dictate your life.
Yeah, shit happens and people get hurt. But don't be scared. Good things happen too. No fear in love. Repeat it til it's integrated into your mentality. Til it's not something you have to think about. It just is. It's just truth. Don't let other's fear become yours.
Life is full of scary things.
Love shouldn't be one of them.
My last night in Novalja I get some new roomies. Two guys from Wales traveling together a few weeks.
"I know it's cringe worthy to say," one of them admits to me while the other showers, "but I really feel like I've learned a lot, especially about myself, in this trip. We've only been going for 17 days, but it really is eye opening, isn't it? It just expands your awareness so quickly, and I feel like I'm much more confident than when we left. Cliche, huh?"
I just smile, knowing the exact feeling.
"I hear myself saying this to people who haven't traveled, and I see them rolling their eyes and I just cringe at how I sound. How do you explain it?"
"You don''t," I respond, "You can't understand what it's like to throw yourself into the unknown until you do it. You can't gain the strength and confidence that comes from surviving hardships until you've had hardships to survive. Traveling forces these things forward. It's magic."
He's quiet a moment. "They'll never understand," he says, mulling it over to himself.
"They'll never understand," I repeat, smiling still.
The best way to experience life is just to go experience it.
The bus pulls out of the station, and the vacation has started for all those traveling to Croatia just for the festival. Within minutes someone pulls out a speaker and the unrelenting BPM of hard style pumps through the bus, leaving the few unfortunate locals looking around in confusion, and the rest of the bus fist pumping and head banging.
I laugh to myself and pray I will survive the coming week.
If I don't make it out of the madness...tell my family I love them.
Let's do this.
The town is beautiful. Clean, bright, right on the water. And while most locals are very friendly, I can't blame the few with aggression in their voices and their eyes. The tourists flood in by the bus load day and night. Not your regular, sightseeing variety, but the kind with one thing on their mind.
Partying.
Novalja knows this and caters to it with a very accepting attitude, claiming it's title as the Ibiza of Croatia, but still, some of the party goers are rude and push the limits.
There are signs all over the town asking people to keep their clothes on and not walk around outside of the beach in a bathing suit. Not a very big ask. Put your damn clothes on. But still, I see men and women all day long walking the streets in little to nothing. At 6am when everyone floods back from Zrce, there is an officer stationed outside the bus stop asking people one by one to put their shirts back on. What an obnoxious task.
I understand wanting to party. Shit, I'm here for a festival myself. But I'm disappointed in my fellow travelers. Show just the tiniest amount of respect for the rules and customs of the people who actually inhabit this beautiful land. Don't give tourists a bad name.
Come on, guys...put your big girl panties on and be adults.
PS, I'm having a fantastic time! Just hate seeing people disrespected.
I love the festival atmosphere. I'm not that into the music, but that's not honestly what I came for. I came for the family. The lifestyle. The people.
I arrive alone to Zrce on the first day and feel slightly out of place. I feel like they can tell I'm not actually one of them. I'm a fake. I'm not a hard style fan.
I stay at the edge of the crowd for a bit, and observe, unable to stop from giggling as everyone jumps around to the obnoxiously fast beat. But eventually it's too hot to be a bystander, and I find a corner for my stuff, strip down, and join the fools jumping in the pool.
Its amazing.
I don't have to love the music. The pure energy pumps through me and I'm jumping around and losing my mind just like the rest of them.
As soon as I step in the pool, obviously dry, someone starts splashing me and laughing, and another person dances beside me for a moment before offering me her drink.
These types of interactions happen repeatedly. I rarely speak to any of these people, but they extend obvious hands of friendship.
The MC starts throwing hats into the crowd, and I jump for them energetically, but have no luck catching one. I feel something placed on my head, and when I take it off, it's one of the hats. I turn to see who put it there, and the people behind me just smile.
Thanks, guys. You rock.
I walk out from the bathroom, breathing hard from all the jumping (I swear hard style dancing is all the cardio anyone needs), and a stranger besides the door checks in on me, asking if I'm alright.
It's easy to feel safe here. Cared for even though I'm alone. When I meet anyone's eyes they smile and we share a silent communication. An appreciation of what we're here for.
This is a family. Even if we never speak.
The DJ plays a sample over his track... A man speaking...simple words...
"Music never torn anyone apart."
And these words pour through me and I'm shouting and jumping and clapping so hard I slice my hand open on the plastic bit of my wristband.
Music never torn anyone apart.
The phrase "high on life" has never been more appropriate to me.
I can't breathe I'm dancing so hard and I decide after going all day, night, day again, and into the night...I'm probably allowed to take a break. I walk 20 feet away from the dance floor and sit on the rocky beach, watching the people stream by, pumped and full of energy. I love the unique vibe this place has. There are four major clubs and a scattering of small bars in between, all open air and right on the coast. You don't like the music? Walk 50 feet to the next club. Need a break? Step directly out onto the beach and continue to people watch.
I'm on the beach alone for no more than five minutes.
A kid walking by looks at me and smiles and then pauses. "Hey, are you okay out here alone?"
"Oh! Yeah man, I'm just tired."
"Okay, just checking!" He hesitates a moment. "Mind if I sit down?"
We sit and watch the people, share a beer, exchange stories.
"Hey, why aren't you out here with a cute girl?"
I pause, confused by this sudden change in topic.
"Sorry, what?"
"I mean, it's pretty obvious you like that...so why don't you have a cute girl out here on the beach with you?"
I'm trying to hold myself together instead of laughing at his blunt question and assumption.
"Why don't you?" I respond.
"Well, I have a girlfriend."
"Fair. I'm not into hookups. That's all anything here would be. I'm good on my own."
Ah...to be a girl with short hair in 2018...must be a lesbian!
I'm good with this though. It means less groping hands on the dance floor. Less reasons to fight.
I appreciate the bluntness of Europeans.
Have a question? Ask it.
Maybe it's my hair...or my clothes...or maybe it's that I can out dance 90% of the people here. Whatever it is, these kids look at me and think, "drug dealer".
I've been asked repeatedly since arriving in Zrce if I know where to find ecstasy, and each conversation goes about the same.
"No, sorry, I don't know."
"Oh okay...well what are you on then?"
"Oh...I'm not on anything man, I just like to dance."
"Really?! You're sober?"
"Really really."
I thought about being frustrated by the frequency of this assumption, but honestly, I see it as a compliment in a way. I am enjoying myself to such an extent that people think I Must be high. That's a good thing, right? Life to the fullest, and all that. I'm good with my sobriety...I'm already high enough ;)
In all seriousness though, I am really glad to be here at this point in my life...this is my first festival since getting sober, and it's such a relief to not even have the thought on my mind. I see these people, messed up out of their minds, and I do not envy the hangovers they will have the next day, or their friends who have to drag them out of the club because they can barely stand. I guess this is part of growing up in most cultures...this over indulgence...we expect it from young people. But ugh...why do we make ourselves feel like crap all the time? Why is this fun?
This festival has been amazing...I have danced from the early afternoon into the dawn for days on end...I have jumped out of a club into the sea at sunrise in my sweaty clothes...I have come home at 6am to be greeted with smiles and clear headed conversations with the receptionist at my hostel...I have sat on the beach and talked to strangers...I have turned those strangers into friends...and the very best part?
I remember it all.
All of it.
Amazing memories. No drugs or hangovers to mar my memories. When my body hurts in the morning, I know it's because I danced too hard and not because I poisoned it.
I used to fear the sunrise after a night of partying...because more often than not, it meant I messed up, and I'd be feeling regret in the days to come. I drank too much or I took something I shouldn't have. Seeing a sunrise was rarely a natural occurrence, and the crash was on it's way.
But no more!
With the sun rising over the mountains at the edge of the sea, we scream and hurl ourselves off the deck of the club. The icy salt water wakes us up and cleanses our sweaty bodies. Dripping wet, we make our way to the bus, and eventually pour back into Novalja. I return to my hostel, make a meal, shower, and sleep. And in the morning? Perfectly fine.
I know it won't always be like this. But there is no way in hell it would have happened like that this time around had I not been sober.
I meet a pair of Canadian boys in my hostel and we spend two days partying and hanging out. They see my wristband for Hard Island and tell me they aren't really into the music, but their friend is DJ'ing the next day, so they came to see him. They invite me along.
It's funny how, when you're not really into something, you can happen into the best circumstances.
Their friend comes to collect us, and hands them each a free wristband, asking if I need one as well.
"No, no, I've got one."
He takes us all into the club and straight to the VIP area above the stage, where we're promptly brought free drinks and have plenty of room to dance.
This is how the next two days go and I just laugh as we're given the best treatment we could ask for, at a festival full of music none of us are really that into.
Life is funny.
The boys are leaving in the morning, and after two days and nights of partying together, we end up separated at the very last moment.
"Ah well..." I think. "That sucks, but this is how it happens traveling. You don't always get a goodbye."
But in the morning I wake when I hear my name. They've knocked on my door and asked my dorm mates for me.
I should have known better than to think the Canadians would leave without a goodbye. Much too polite for that ;)
And I am glad for it. This last extension of friendship.
I may be traveling alone, but I never seem to feel too lonely.
Many thanks to all the lovely groups and individuals who have taken me on as their stray!
 |
| Amazing to meet again with Lukas from Vienna. I love connecting again with new friends ^_^ |
"No fear in love". Repeat it often. Every time you feel doubt. Every time someone doubts you. When you're scared. When they are.
No fear in love.
No fear in love.
Let it ring out as your mantra. Let it guide. Let it be true. This doesn't mean you'll never get hurt. This isn't a shield against pain. This is you getting out of your own way and allowing room for potential. The greatest magic. For good things to happen. For you to not let fear dictate your life.
Yeah, shit happens and people get hurt. But don't be scared. Good things happen too. No fear in love. Repeat it til it's integrated into your mentality. Til it's not something you have to think about. It just is. It's just truth. Don't let other's fear become yours.
Life is full of scary things.
Love shouldn't be one of them.
My last night in Novalja I get some new roomies. Two guys from Wales traveling together a few weeks.
"I know it's cringe worthy to say," one of them admits to me while the other showers, "but I really feel like I've learned a lot, especially about myself, in this trip. We've only been going for 17 days, but it really is eye opening, isn't it? It just expands your awareness so quickly, and I feel like I'm much more confident than when we left. Cliche, huh?"
I just smile, knowing the exact feeling.
"I hear myself saying this to people who haven't traveled, and I see them rolling their eyes and I just cringe at how I sound. How do you explain it?"
"You don''t," I respond, "You can't understand what it's like to throw yourself into the unknown until you do it. You can't gain the strength and confidence that comes from surviving hardships until you've had hardships to survive. Traveling forces these things forward. It's magic."
He's quiet a moment. "They'll never understand," he says, mulling it over to himself.
"They'll never understand," I repeat, smiling still.
The best way to experience life is just to go experience it.
I didn't take many pictures in Novalja or Zrce, but here is a rough rough overview of my 8 days there. Whew!
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